Video Games

Pokémon Platinum: The Game Corner

online game

And, disclaimer: The ability to play the slots was remove in European versions of Platinum. Instead, you have to buy the coins for TMs. So, I guess… Sorry, Europe. Although, after having done this… You really were saved from…multiple aneurisms. But, in any case, this is how things work here: You play the slots. Different machines have different odds. Clefairys can appear… …And all that’s really involved is just pressing Y, B, and A to stop each reel.

Which is totally rigged, by the way. t’s hard to tell on video, but if you play it for yourself, you’ll notice there’s sometimes a huge delay between when you press the button and the reel actually stopping. But of course, this isn’t the actual main attraction… It’s these Poké Balls here… Eventually… A Clefairy pops out. Once one pops out, you have to get a jackpot.

Sounds hard, but having Clefairy out guarantees it’ll eventually happen. Lo and behold, there’s the jackpot. And now, the true terror of this online casino game awaits. The bonus rounds.

Just stop the reel Clefairy points at, and you’ll get 15 coins. Do that 15 times, and you’ll finish the bonus round. This may take a while, so… There are also three variants to Clefairy, too… This one, a Ditto transformed into one, and a shiny Clefairy.

As far as I can tell, actually moving onto another bonus round is completely random, but depending on which Clefairy you have, the odds differ. Ditto Clefairy → Low chance; Normal Clefairy → Meh chance; Shiny Clefairy → High chance Yup. It’s…random. Much to my dismay… I have done this once before, but I could only do it with the shiny Clefairy… …And once more, here.

Still with the shiny Clefairy. And now, yes! It’s finally done! No, don’t make me do more… Why am I even going for the replays anymore? It’s over. I just have to leave.

Wow. I want to say all kinds of things here, but they would all be…very rude. That was the wrong button. I remapped the buttons on my keyboard to play the slots properly… Yeah, that’s what it was. Yeah, no.

What is TM64 supposed to be, anyway? Oh… Well, you know what? I racked up exactly ten thousand and three coins playing these slots, so I’m going to make use of them, darn it! It’ll make me feel like I didn’t waste all that time. Uh, sure. Why not?

I was going to say something, but it…would be in poor taste. Oh, cool. No move names?

Great. And, I can’t even afford the most expensive thing. Wow. Oh, they do tell you what the TMs are. Wow. These aren’t very good TMs, are they?

Although, looking back at Pokemon Platinum Wikipedia, it’s actually pretty hard to tell why is such a headache if you’ve never played this game before… Even the montage doesn’t really do it justice. But please… Don’t subject yourself to what I did. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.